TTA... for now.

So, it's been almost a week and I'm feeling less down, but still really sick and tired.  I'm exhausted, completely exhausted.  I just want to get back into my life and it's so hard when I have zero energy to do anything.  I've decided to stop fighting it and give myself til Monday.  Restart everything on Monday, which also happens to be my birthday!

My husband and I also talked about it and have decided to wait for a couple of months before trying to conceive again.  My doctor was really shocked that we were able to get pregnant on our first month of (sort of) trying.  So I've started charting and we've rethought the whole TTC business.  Before we were just flying by the seat of our pants, this time it will be a well planned out system. 

Since I'm such a geek I went online and checked potential due dates for when we are TTC.  Seems so planned, but why the hell not?!  My girlfriend just announced her pregnancy (which is still super raw to hear about) and I don't want to get pregnant right away after her.  And if we got pregnant the cycle after we would have a November due date and my husband's family has about 10 people with birthdays in November.  I never wanted to have a baby right before Christmas because I think that would suck for him or her to have a birthday so close.  But I checked out our due dates for getting preggo the end of March and we would have a due date of December 31st!  My Mom was born on that day so I'm thinking it's a sign to wait until then to TTC again.

I'm so excited to have a baby, but I want to do this right.  I can't help but feel that I should have been more into planning the pregnancy and doing it all right instead of just throwing away the birth control pills and "seeing what happens".  I feel like that attitude is partially the reason I miscarried.  I'm terrified that there is something wrong with me and that I will have another miscarriage after getting pregnant again.  If you are reading this and have any suggestions to quell the fear beast instead of me, I gladly welcome them.